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“Sarah’s”
children think people are born with two kidneys so they can give one away.
They know their teacher at The Hebrew Academy of
Cleveland donated one of her kidneys to her ailing spouse. Even closer to home,
their own father donated his kidney to a man he barely knew.
The story of their father, the donor (who wishes to
remain anonymous), and the recipient, Cleveland Heights resident Stuart
Greenberg, radiates beyond these two central pillars; in many ways, it touches
the entire Orthodox community of Cleveland.
Greenberg has suffered with kidney problems since he was a young child. By age
10, he had 1-1/2 kidneys removed. In 1993, when he was only 30, he received his
first kidney transplant. Three years ago he started to lose function of that
kidney and last Passover began dialysis. Dialysis didn’t go well, however,
and the race was on again for a new kidney.
Meanwhile, the quality of Greenberg’s life deteriorated. He was barely
able to work. When his 10-year-old son was performing in a yeshiva boys’
choir in New York, he was too ill to go with him, as promised. “My wife
went instead, and my 15-year-old son ran the household. My (four) kids really
stepped up to the plate when needed,” he says gratefully.
Last Shavuot, Greenberg had the Orthodox shuls in
the community make an appeal for a donor. “Four people came forward, and
all four (initially) matched.” Because the greater mitzvah is to give
anonymously, they said, none of the four wanted his or her name mentioned in
this column.
One of the potential matches was
already involved with the specialized “club” of kidney
donor/recipients. Earlier, he had heard about an Orthodox man in New York, also
named Stuart, who needed a transplant and contacted his Cleveland friend Fred
Taub. A website designer by profession, Taub offered to create a website
(savestuart.org) for the man. Since it had helped the New York Stuart find a
suitable donor, the man suggested Taub do the same for the Cleveland Stuart.
Taub instantly agreed. He used an e-newsletter in
the Orthodox community (frum cleveland.org) to post Greenberg’s story, and
he also posted it on his own newly created website Neshama.org. As a result,
Greenberg heard from people around the country who were willing to get tested.
“I’m just the shadchan (matchmaker)
putting people together,” explains the voluble Taub, who never charged for
creation of the websites or for postings.
Meanwhile,
the four Clevelanders who were potential candidates for a match with Greenberg
couldn’t agree on who among them should be chosen first. They asked Rabbi
Baruch Hirschfield of Ahavos Yisroel for advice; he suggested holding a
mini-lottery!
The man who drew the number-one slot
was disqualified for medical reasons. The holder of the second slot, however,
proved a perfect match.
Even before he knew he was
the chosen one, the donor, whose children attend Hebrew Academy along with
Greenberg’s children, wanted to feel useful. He downloaded the article on
Greenberg posted on the Neshama.org website, and then went door to door putting
copies of the article in people’s mailboxes, says his wife Sarah (not her
real name).
It’s a beautiful act and also
understandable if someone willingly gives a kidney to a family member. But
donating a kidney to someone who is little more than a passing acquaintance?
Just as importantly, how does the family of that
donor cope with such a momentous decision?
“I
know my husband,” says Sarah. “He is a selfless, giving, kind
person.” Moreover, she adds, “He is not a big macher in the
community. He is not outgoing. I knew he needed this for his sense of self, and
I couldn’t take it away from him. (I felt) it would give him a real
purpose.” Their children likewise saw their father in a new light.
“It was such a good experience for everyone,” Sarah admits.
But not an easy one. At least for Sarah. The night
before surgery, she recalls, “I couldn’t sleep, but he was snoring
away.” As if the impending transplant operation were nothing to worry
about.
Both, however, are people of great faith.
Because he had his rabbi’s approval and the brachah (blessing) of a rabbi
at Telshe Yeshiva, the donor knew he was doing the right thing. For her part,
Sarah says, “I believe if my husband did this, God will take care that
neither he nor I, nor our children will ever need a kidney.”
On Dec. 20, the transplant was successfully
completed by Dr. Mark Aeder, chief of surgery at University Hospitals.
Following two nights in the hospital and a two-week recuperation, the donor
went back to work. “For me it was a little bit of pain,” he says.
“But it makes a world of difference to the recipient.”
Sarah reports that her husband’s boss was
“amazing.” Even though he thought his employee was “nuts”
for donating a kidney, the boss gave him the needed time off, paid his salary,
sent a fruit basket, and also came to visit.
Greenberg, the thrilled recipient of the new kidney, hopes to return to his
work by the end of January.
Meanwhile,
“everyone says they see a difference in me,” he notes. They tell him
he looks better and his old, ungrumpy personality has returned. “My wife
Rachel says she has a husband back.”
Greenberg
is also eager to point out how, at this difficult time, the whole Orthodox
community of Cleveland and beyond came together “as one, with no political
boundaries or divisions.”Tehillim or prayers were said for him in
Cleveland, Boro Park, Williamsburg and New York yeshivas, he says.
While his wife and the donor’s wife were
anxiously awaiting the outcome of the surgery at the hospital, friends and
neighbors brought the two women breakfast, lunch, and dinner. During the whole
week of surgery and the week after, these caring individuals also sent meals to
both families.
Even in the darkest days of his
illness, Greenberg reflects, his “faith never wavered. God doesn’t
make mistakes. I was wherever I was supposed to be.”
As for the man he credits with saving his life,
Greenberg adds, “You can’t pay someone back for giving you a kidney.
They (the donor’s family), in fact, thanked me for allowing them to do
this mitzvah.”
Sarah is likewise thrilled with
the happy outcome for both men and for her husband’s newfound celebrity.
“My husband and I went to Unger’s the
other day,” she marvels, “and everyone asked, ‘How are you
doing? How are you doing?’”
Now, she adds,
her husband is talking about donating “part of his liver” to someone
needing that organ. But Sarah, at least, has her limits: “I said no way.
We’re not going there.” |
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| Reprinted by permission of The Cleveland Jewish News |
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